Archangels Gone Wild
by Archangelxx
Summary: Michael, Lucifer and Gabriel decide to get drunk. It's all silly nonsense from there. Also Michael/Dean pairing...kind of. Rated M for later chapters if I post them. Just being prepared.


**This is just a random chapter I wrote. I tend to start writing silly nonsense or dark twisted things when I'm blocked from writing my other fics. I normally don't post them but I decided to with this one.**

 **It is random and doesn't really have a plot but can you go wrong with drunk archangels?**

. . .

Michael gazed upon the light of Heaven from a personal little room he liked to relax in. Or it had been until Gabriel and Lucifer returned to Heaven both in strangely high spirits and speaking of a visit from father. Michael, of course, got a message of his own not to fight his brother and it seemed off but who was he to question God's Will? He was just glad to have the morning star returned to glory; or he had been joyous at first but it proved to be more exasperating than anything.

"All that I want from you my son, is to be satisfied," Lucifer sang along with Gabriel as they played some ridiculous human contraption where they read words on the screen and sang them into a speaker; it was absurd and not so easy on the ears.

"Will you two keep it down?" Michael turned to them but they either didn't hear him or were ignoring him. He pointed to the contraption and used grace to fry the wiring, earning huffs of irritation as it smoked and the screen went blank.

"Really?" Gabriel complained, "I was winning that one."

"Why do you insist upon interrupting my time? Go somewhere else," Michael said firmly but he barely held authority with these two and despite his temper, he could never actually harm them.

"I like this room," Lucifer shrugged easily.

"It's mine," Michael assured them.

"I don't see your name on it," Gabriel smirked and Lucifer nodded, "he has a point, Michael."

Michael felt the stiffening of his feathers as his irritation began to reach his grace.

"I think you made him mad, Gabriel," Lucifer smirked to his brother.

"Oh please, he's not getting mad, he just has to poop," Gabriel's eyes lit and Lucifer snorted, holding a hand over his mouth.

"Excuse me?" Michael asked, using much of his willpower not to knock one of them into next week.

"Well Michael, if you pull the stick out of your ass, you might not be so constipated," Lucifer almost cracked trying to say it and Gabriel burst out in laughter.

Michael threw a blast of light at Lucifer that burnt one of his feathers.

"Okay you win, Lucifer" Gabriel laughed, holding his stomach as if that mattered, "wow."

Michael leered at them, "Is this some kind of game?"

"Russian Roulette; Michael style. We both say things to piss you off to see who you snap at," Gabriel chuckled with Lucifer.

Michael eyed them, "You two want to play a game, then?" he opened up the wall behind him and pulled out three bottles of Sunlight and a small box that contained the dried up flowers, "see if you can out-drink me."

"Oh no you don't," Gabriel perked up in interest as he created a table in the middle of where they were now sitting. Michael slid them each a bottle after dropping a single flower bud into each.

"Breaking the rules, Michael?" Lucifer quirked an eyebrow.

"They are my own rules," Michael pointed out, "and tonight, I say it's an open night."

"Before we start, we should ward the room so we can't leave," Gabriel realized while he was still rational, "could you imagine what damage we could cause wasted on Earth?"

. . .

They thought they warded the place well, they really did but by the time they each finished their bottles, they were out and, to Michael's dismay, on Earth. He tried to hold onto the fact this was a bad idea but the moment he felt the warmth of Gabriel or the soothing cool of Lucifer, he was smiling again as they flew slowly around the Grand Canyon, dipping in and occasionally hitting some rocks, causing pieces of stone to crumble down.

Lucifer smiled as he did mid-air somersaults and twists, showing off his ability to keep a semi-straight line while intoxicated only for Gabriel to attempt the same and they clashed into one another.

Michael laughed at the tangled mess of feathers and wobbling vessel limbs as they tried to stand.

The next thing he knew, he was shoving Gabriel into a bright, colorful ball pit and Lucifer was pushing him into it as well. He laughed as he wrestled to get his wings untangled from Gabriel's as they tried to climb up. Lucifer dove over them with his legs curled to his chest and Gabriel laughed as he hit the colored ocean of plastic, causing several of the balls to fling up in the air around him.

Michael laid back in them, allowing his wings to become covered only to thrust them upwards, shooting hundreds up into the air to rain down upon them.

Gabriel was nearly giggling as he tried to bat them out of the air and he grabbed a few to whip them at Lucifer's face, causing an angry red welt to form on his cheek as the red ball was crushed from the impact.

They then flew to Kansas and began to create crop circles, testing to see whose looked the most intricate and Lucifer's won considering it looked like a smiley face with horns, bat wings and a spaded tail.

"The humans are going to be so confused," Lucifer mused with his eyes glittering in the moonlight while he sipped at a second bottle of Sunlight.

"I think mine is better, personally," Gabriel shrugged, examining his giant cupcake shaped design.

Michael himself had made a massive Enochian sigil to ward off demons in the entire state…or at least until someone broke one of the lines. He smiled as he imagined what the humans would think and was even more amused when he thought of hunters coming to check it out and then the bright idea to find Dean and Sam Winchester reached him and in his state of mind, it seemed like a brilliant plan; which it wasn't but he couldn't bother to care about that fact; this was why he banned Sunlight for it makes angels irrational.

"Hey guys-" Michael started but as he turned, he realized they Gabriel and Lucifer were already gone. He shrugged and began to free fly all through the US, smiling as he felt the tug on his grace from being close to his true vessel. He had a good vessel now, to be sure and he smiled at the knowledge that neither of the Winchester brothers has ever seen him in this vessel so they wouldn't recognize him…which was only going to make it that much better.

He stopped once his grace lit with being close to his true vessel and landed on the roof of some large shed; he pulled out his third bottle of Sunlight, dropped a half of a flower bud into it, shook it up and polished another half of the bottle. He perked up when he heard shouting and crashing and he stared over the edge, using his wings to keep support as he watched Dean get thrown through the shed door where he landed beside his beloved vehicle.

He knew there were some demons nearby from how his grace coiled at the scent of sin and sulfur, the twisted, darkened souls making him want to smite something. Souls were supposed to be beautiful and light as Father intended…not that twisted darkness. That was just what demons were; God's glorious light tainted with darkness. A spark of his grace reached his wings, causing them to twitch and flare out, sharpening with the need to fight.

Michael wobbled as he tried to keep balance on the rooftop, amused that none of them could sense him and there was a wave of giddiness filling the coiling parts of his grace; he wanted to care that he was so intoxicated but the flower from Avalon took away any hint of concern.

Once he regained balance, he just waited, watching the scene unfold before his eyes with amusement.

Sam was thrown even further, some demon killing blade sliding from his hand as three powerful and quite strategic demons closed in on him. Two more were stalking around Dean, who was just recovering from where he slammed his head onto the dirt and grass. Michael was thrilled to see Abaddon, a Knight of Hell, stalk out from the shed now, her twisted demonic essence having been the one to cause his grace to coil and heat up with archangel power.

"Boys," Abaddon turned shifty eyes from Sam to Dean as she controlled the demons that were now moving to hold the Winchester's in place. Michael wasn't too surprised to find them tangling with a Knight of Hell but he was indeed pleased to find her for she was the last one left and she had hidden very well; until now.

Michael contemplated how to make his entrance as Abaddon went on to taunt the boys and she was just as senseless as anyone who tried to go up against them. When it comes to getting a task done, Michael doesn't wait around and chit-chat like every other being seems to enjoy, he goes right in for the kill, no questions or statements needed; a job well done.

He eyed the Impala and used a brush of grace to turn it on, sifting through the soundwaves to find a song that he could do some smiting to. Once he found a good tune, he let it blare as he jumped down from the building, wobbling and laughing about how he couldn't stand straight as he used power to cut off the ability to speak from the twisted, darkened demonic souls.

Sam and Dean darted wide, worried eyes at him and he gave them a wave as he moved about to a song he was finding quite motivating as it played on 'Another One Bites the Dust'.

He could feel everyone staring and it made him want to laugh and this was why he banned the use of Sunlight and Florias mixed together. They made angels irrational but even with those thoughts, he still moved to the music as he swiftly pressed a palm to the forehead of each demon, smiting them as he twirled to the beat and he even winked at Dean, who was merely just gaping at him. He felt his power hungry drunk mind want to go into bliss as he walked towards Abaddon and he smiled.

"You don't have the juice," Abaddon sneered in his face when he let her have her voice.

Michael smiled and reached out, touching a finger to her nose, "boop," he crooned as he pushed grace in, frying her demonic essence in seconds. He turned to Sam and Dean, who were gaping with wide eyes and a cross between terrified and relieved. He laughed at them, "I just saved you two, why would you fear me?"

Michael cut the music and went to take a step towards them only to trip over his own feet and he laughed as he held onto the truck beside him for support. He leaned over, laughing as his grace nearly shook with euphoria from a smiting gone well.

"Did you just poke Abbadon in the nose and kill her?" Dean of course would ask that and he laughed a little more because if only they knew who he was.

Michael felt so good and relaxed. He'd wanted to kill the last Knight for a long time and he finally did, "You two have the cutest little souls," he realized, wanting to giggle as the flower began to take effect and the humans were now standing but seemingly afraid to make a move.

"Are you drunk or high?" Dean stepped back, glaring and it was silly to Michael because it was not threatening at all. The righteous soul still shone brightly though against the rest of the soul. Even the younger hunter had a warmer flow to his soul since it was rid of demonic aspects from the blood consumed.

"Am I drunk or high?" he asked them, raising his wings that he knew they couldn't see, "my wings are high," he laughed and wanted Gabriel to be around at this point.

"Who are you?" Dean demanded, trying to be the tough big brother but there was a glimmer of amusement in his voice.

"Well, do I get a thank you for killing that troll?" Michael tried to keep a straight face and seem threatening but it was failing from the raised eyebrows and uncertainty.

"You'll get a banishing sigil if you don't tell us who you are," Dean said defiantly and Michael chuckled because did they truly think they could banish, Michael the Archangel?

Michael realized he stumbled his way over, "You can try," he touched the collar of Dean's jacket like he had when they first met and stared deeply into forest green eyes, "Or," he suggested, "you can thank me like this," and he pulled their lips together, tasting his vessel like he'd wanted to. He pushed in a touch of grace so the hunter could know what it could have felt like to feel the brush of his grace.

Dean's reaction was worth it as he stiffened and nearly bit Michael as he shoved him off but the hunter wobbled unsteadily, eyes becoming unfocused as his soul reacted to the touch of grace. The hunter then collapsed to the ground, unable to withstand it.

"What the hell," Sam rushed over, looking wary, "What did you do to him?"

"I kissed him," Michael shrugged, eyes set on the other hunter, "he just experienced a real bond with an angel," he then he fled, laughing because he wished he could stick around for when Dean woke but he didn't want them figuring out who he was.

. . .

He found Lucifer and Gabriel sitting up in a few trees by a building that overlooked a large, outdoor screen playing a movie. They both munched on caramel corn and licorice as they watched the screen.

"Where were you?" Lucifer asked, eyes glossed over as him and Gabriel shared another bottle.

"Nothing that concerns anyone," Michael said simply as he sat down, "I did see Abaddon, though."

"Wait, the last knight?" Gabriel lifted an eyebrow, "thought she was trapped in some other time?"

"Was the last knight," Michael found himself grinning because he far surpassed having one too many.

"Aw Michael, they took a long time to train," Lucifer pouted as wintry eyes narrowed, "you said you'd let one live."

"I did…but I saw her and couldn't resist. She was terrified," Michael mused as he recalled.

"How did you run into her? Where was she?" Gabriel asked as he tore at the licorice, "I looked for her for a long time."

"She was trying to kill Sam and Dean Winchester," Michael said simply with a shrug.

Lucifer was glaring at him, "You went to those two? They don't even know we are out and I'd like to keep it that way. Those two can be annoying."

"Or that I'm alive," Gabriel added with aggravation, "did they see you?"

"They didn't know who I was," Michael shook his head, but frowned as he already forgot what happened there, "honestly, I don't really remember what I said," he laughed.

"Did you drink more?" Lucifer asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Just a teensy," Michael pressed his fingers together, "little bottle."

"You had another whole bottle?" Gabriel's eyes widened, "You are drunk, Michael, go home before you do something stupid."

Michael pulled away from his brothers, "We should go into Hell and kill some demons," he suggested as he let himself hang upside down on a large branch, wings hanging loosely in the air.

"Low profile," Lucifer shook his head, "you already risked a lot going to those two idiots. They are probably gonna call Castiel now."

"I'm sure I didn't do anything stupid," Michael waved them off but decided to just go and rest before he began to get a day after sickness. He really hated them but already a migraine was coming on.

"Shots?" Lucifer smirked, pulling out shot glasses and sitting them on his lap.

Michael grabbed one, forgetting the rational idea to be alone.

. . .

He knew he had far surpassed the point of rational as he landed beside the vehicle of the Winchester brothers. He smiled as he climbed inside the car and he debated turning it on and driving off and he laughed to himself. He smirked as he sparked the engine to life, feeling the car rumble beneath him and he perked up in interest.

He reached over to where he knew controlled the music. He used some grace to sift through the stations and pull forth a song he could enjoy. He let a tune called 'Acid Rain' play through the speakers. He began to contemplate where Gabriel and Lucifer went off to but he already lost track of what he was doing or where he was before he ended up here.

He didn't mean to fall into resting state in this manner but he realized he did when he woke to the feel of cold steel at his throat. He winced at the light as his head pounded. He eyed the blade and the threatening manner Dean held it and wanted to laugh but he couldn't recall what was happening.

"Oh move that thing, it won't do anything but piss me off," Michael tore the blade from his hand effortlessly and tossed it onto the ground as he sat up in the Impala. His grace rushed into his skull, causing it to throb and ache behind his eyes, making his vision foggy.

He pushed an annoyed Dean out of the way to stand up and examine the surroundings. He couldn't recollect what he was doing resting in the Winchester's vehicle and pondered what other ridiculous mistakes he could have possibly made while intoxicated.

"Who are you?" Dean demanded, his voice grating against Michael's grace, causing his wings to shoot more throbbing into the skull of his vessel and his feathers flared.

He turned to Dean, "Will you just…not speak, my head hurts."

"Yeah you were pretty wasted last night," Sam was there, too, Michael realized and he was too tired to make a comment.

"Listen, I'm going to leave and you two are not going to search for me," Michael said simply, staring deeply at each but mostly at Dean and for some strange reason, he wanted to taste his vessel.

"Oh right because that's going to happen…what were you doing in baby? You killed the battery, dick!" Dean growled angrily at him.

"Shh," Michael held a finger over his lips and stared up, spreading his wings. He then fled back up to his room, leaving the humans in a gust of wind and curses.

He landed back in his personal room to find Gabriel passed out on a table in front of the couch where Lucifer was lounging rested on. He had no knowledge of what they did while under the influence of Sunlight though he knew it couldn't have been too bad. With that, he let himself fall onto the recliner and lhis grace begin to repair from the extensive intake.


End file.
